Marriage counseling can actually help even when both spouses aren’t willing to go. Both spouses must be 100% committed to seeking help and being completely honest in treatment. Both partners must be willing to accept whatever decisions the counselor or therapist makes and work on issues at an emotional level. If a marriage is struggling or seems to have stalled out completely, there is no time to waste – now is the time to seek professional counseling!
A couple may face a variety of problems, from a lack of intimacy to a volatile working relationship. While it’s important to tackle these issues head-on and not put off seeking professional advice, sometimes couples are hesitant to see a professional counselor or even talk to another person about their issues because they feel like the other person is biased against them. Remember that everyone has their own unique set of issues that can vary widely from one person to the next. A great premarital counselor will understand all of your needs and wants and steer you in the right direction so you can get the help you need while reducing the risk of a future separation or divorce.
If a couple chooses to see a therapist on their own, they should do everything they can to make their time with the therapist fun and easy going. A therapist who is difficult and abrasive will only cause more problems and may make the counseling sessions difficult as well. The counselor should explain the situation clearly and ask open-ended questions to make the session easier for both partners. If possible, the couple should schedule separate appointments so that they can work on their problems at a time when they are not together.
Even if the couple feels like the therapist is doing a good job and things are getting better, couples often find that premarital counseling is not enough to remedy their problems. Sometimes a third party is necessary. This could be a church pastor or even a professional counselor. These individuals may be able to give the couple more support during the premarital process and they may have helpful insights into how to proceed further. They may also be able to recommend more personalized services that would be best for the couple.
A good premarital counselor will be able to help the couple strengthen their relationship by helping to identify and work through issues and conflicts. The marriage counseling sessions should not become a place where the couple feels guilty for their problems or feel as if the other person is blaming them. A successful marriage relationship requires the honest sharing of all the details of the problem in order for there to be any progress made. Marriage counseling can increase trust and understanding between partners and this can be important in building a strong relationship. Counseling can also help to develop communication skills which are vital to any healthy relationship. A therapist can teach the couple how to manage conflicts and improve communication skills that will make it easier to build and maintain a healthy relationship.
Many couples enter marriage counseling wanting to save their relationship. However, couples who realize that they need help can take positive steps towards repairing and restoring their relationship. Couples should feel comfortable discussing any issues they may be having. If at any point, you feel uncomfortable talking about your issues with your partner or therapist, you should consider seeking another counselor or therapist.