Couples who want to know if marriage counseling can help really have two questions in common: Can it really help and is it right for me? Those are not easy questions. Marriage counseling is tough work for just about anybody who commitments to a lifelong relationship with a spouse. Marriage takes compromise and communication, but too often, life can get in the way of what should be a fun and rewarding experience. Work schedules, children, social commitments, and everything else which lead up to a satisfying, full life can all be challenges and a pleasure for a healthy marriage.
Many times, couples feel like they need each other more than anything. They are so in love that they want to spend every waking minute with each other. Unfortunately, that is impossible to do when your life is hectic with all of the other responsibilities you have to take care of. Sometimes, your life may include your children or a caring partner, but your heart belongs to your spouse. One solution to this problem is to find a therapist who can help you work through the issues between your partner and yourself, allowing you to feel like you belong to your spouse and to your children as well.
Most therapists will advise you to set up regular sessions with them, beginning about a month before you plan to begin therapy. In those sessions, the counselor will try to develop an understanding between you and your partner on how to resolve conflicts so that the couple has an effective communication together. Often, this means working through some of the most difficult and painful aspects of your relationship. The goal is to help you both work through the issues and reach a place where the two of you can live in a relationship of deep trust and deep intimacy.
Once you have attended your first session with your marriage counselor, you will be able to determine the most effective ways for you and your partner to communicate. In addition, you will learn about some of the other people who are involved in your relationship, including your children’s other people, as well as your family and friends. It is important for you and your partner to become aware of everyone in your lives, and you should also learn what those people say about your relationship. After all, they can offer useful input about your problems, as well as their own observations.
At the end of the first marriage counseling session, your therapist will probably suggest that you continue with weekly meetings. These weekly meetings are often designed to speed up your progress, and to allow both of you to become more comfortable with one another. By developing trust and intimacy between you and your partner, many couples have found that their relationship is much happier after the first few sessions of marriage counseling.
Unfortunately, not every couple can wait six months to one year to start seeing improvements in their relationship. Some couples do not wait long at all and must immediately re-visit their marriage counseling sessions to find that progress has been made. However, even if your relationship is rocky at the moment, you should take heart from the fact that the problems are not insurmountable. If you work with your partner and your therapist, you can solve many of the problems that are upsetting your relationship, and you can make your relationship even stronger.