How Do You Save a Dying Marriage – Simple Steps to Help Couples Reconcile and Save Their Relationship?
“How do you save a dying marriage?” That’s one question I get asked all the time from friends and family. It’s easy to assume that the answer is very obvious, but let me assure you that it’s not. I’ve been where you are at right now, and it wasn’t intentional on my part. If anything, the advice I’m about to give may help you avoid making the mistakes I did in this situation.
First off, don’t expect your spouse to magically transform himself or herself overnight. Marriage counseling doesn’t work like that. You can’t “will” your spouse into loving you again or having faith in you again. You simply CAN save your marriage, BUT it will take some effort on your part. One of the biggest mistakes I made when I was trying to save our marriage was assuming I had control over the situation. The fact is that I didn’t, so I needed to learn how to recognize the signs my spouse was truly interested in me again.
I learned one thing during the process of learning how to save my marriage. There’s an old saying, “The proof of the pudding isn’t in the tasting, but in the plucking.” What I meant by that is that if you want to get something out of something, whether it’s a marriage, a job, or financial security for yourself, you need to put in the work. This principle is true for nearly everything you desire in life. If you want to have more money or a better job, you’ve got to put forth the effort to make those things happen.
This same principle holds true when it comes to how do you save a dying marriage. You must do what it takes to make your spouse to fall back in love with you again. This may require some counseling with your spouse, but it will be worth it in the end. It may also require that you make some changes in your own behavior and perspective. I know my marriage was in trouble because I tended to take care of everyone else’s problems while putting myself last.
It worked for a short time but as the months went on, my marriage slowly deteriorated. My spouse started to resent me, and my life became a drama at times. I started to avoid all social events with friends and family. I stopped going to church and even attended less than half of the weddings and parties I wanted to attend. I was so consumed with my own feelings of failure and shame that I couldn’t think straight.
When I looked back, I realized that I had convinced myself that things were better than they were. I thought that I had done a good job of convincing myself that things would be different if I just went along with the plan. When I began asking questions about how do you save a dying marriage, my wife began to break down. She was no longer able to concentrate on the future and the problems we had. I needed to talk to her about what was going on so that I could figure out what to do.
Our marriage had become a victim of our negative communication. My wife no longer felt comfortable with me and it was clear that she didn’t want to be around me. I realized that I needed to change how I was talking to her, and I did. I started to apologize, ask her why she didn’t want to be around me, and most importantly, I wanted to listen.
Communication is the number one key to saving a dying marriage. If you two can admit that you need to change, then you’ll have saved the relationship before it dies. You should never sit around and wait for problems to arise. You must communicate about everything and make sure that there are no misunderstandings. You should also encourage your partner to tell you if there is anything that she wants you to know. If you want to know how do you save a dying marriage, just make sure you communicate and listen.