When we find that our marriage is in trouble, we often wonder, “should I go to marriage counseling or get a divorce?” It’s an important question. After all, marriage is hard and getting divorced is even harder. So, what are the benefits and drawbacks of counseling vs. divorce?
When you go to marriage counseling, you will likely find an agenda that includes learning about your partner’s desires and habits. You will also likely hear that your partner is emotionally unavailable, which may surprise you. In other words, if your spouse is not sharing his/her feelings with you, then you should definitely consider going to marriage counseling. By learning more about your partner’s thoughts and feelings, you will be better able to understand what is going on in his/her head.
Marriage counseling can also be helpful in improving communication skills between the two of you. This is especially helpful if your marriage has become a bit stale. By engaging in regular conversations with your spouse, you can keep things fresh. The conversations that you have will provide the opportunity for you to become more comfortable around each other. This will also allow you to see how your spouse communicates with you, and this will give you a better idea on how to improve your own communication skills.
If you decide that counseling should be pursued, you should definitely select an excellent marriage counselor. A good marriage counselor will not only be a great provider for your marital problems, he/she will also be a great counselor for you. A good marriage counselor will be sensitive to both your spouse’s needs and your needs as a person as well. Your marriage counselor should understand the dynamics of your personalities. He should be very understanding of your need to feel heard and of your need to remain in control of the situation.
If you decide that you should seek marriage counseling, you should definitely select a marriage counselor who will be able to offer you his/her services in a confidential environment. Your divorce attorney should be willing to talk to you about your concerns. It is always best to have honest communication with your divorce attorney.
If you are going to use counseling to resolve your marital problems, you should know that it is not necessary for your spouse to attend counseling sessions. As stated above, your divorce attorney can offer you counseling where your spouse can attend in private. Your divorce attorney should encourage both you and your spouse to go through the sessions with the objective of helping resolve any marital issues.
There are many people who believe that they should go to counseling even when their spouse does not want to. However, you should keep in mind that your spouse’s cooperation is very important. You should also take into consideration your feelings and emotions when deciding to go to counseling. You should try your best to get along with your spouse during the sessions and should remain focused on the goal of getting a divorce.
You may find it beneficial to use a resource called “The Divorce Survival Kit”. This is a guide that has been developed by a former divorce attorney. This guide has helped thousands of couples who are now working successfully together after a marriage breakup. The kit can be obtained online for free. You should certainly go through the contents of this guide before you decide whether or not you should use counseling as a way to resolve your marital problems.
Another question that you should ask yourself is whether or not you want to go through the long process of divorcing. If you do not have time for this tedious task then you should definitely consider using the help of a divorce lawyer. You should get some referrals from your friends or from a professional directory. You should also make a list of all the professional services that a divorce lawyer could provide you with. This would allow you to compare the various pros and cons of hiring a particular divorce lawyer.
If you still feel that counseling is not the right choice for your marriage breakdown then you should make use of an online chat room or an email exchange that allows you to get the support you need. You should consider talking with your soon-to-be ex-spouse as often as possible. You should write down the things that you find annoying about each other during the course of your marriage. You should consider writing these things down even when you are chatting. This will allow you to review what you have already said to each other in private.
After doing this you should remember that you should never use the information you get in any way that will harm your spouse. It should be used only to strengthen your marriage and it should never be used as a way of getting back at your soon-to-be ex-spouse. One of the biggest advantages of using counseling is that it allows you to face your problems and learn new ways of solving them. You should try to use the lessons that were learned during counseling sessions to solve future marital problems. You should also try to maintain a positive attitude towards your marriage. The divorce lawyer that you use should tell you this over the phone.