“Is marriage counseling worth it?” This is one question more couples are asking themselves today. The trouble is that at times it does not work at all.
For instance, I know of several married couples who have gone to a variety of marriage and marital problems counselors (namely psychologists) over the years, with the same results. Like so many other divorced individuals, they tried marriage counseling like 5 different therapists over the course of nearly 10 years only to find themselves getting divorced later in the process. The majority of these individuals do not know how accurate this statistic is, yet I have read that the relationship therapy industry as a whole has a pretty dismal 50% – 70% success rate, and… drum roll… that’s pretty dismal. Yet, when these individuals ultimately decided to get remarried, the new marriage didn’t improve their situation at all!
What I’m trying to say here is that you can (and should) get help, and there is nothing wrong with seeking help to try to save your marriage. The real issue is whether you will get the help you need to stay together. Many people believe that you can simply stop going to counseling, then everything will be OK. However, that is not the case at all – there are countless individuals who go to marriage counseling, and then within a matter of a few months or even weeks, they are back in the same place they were before.
If you are looking into the possibility of seeing someone for marriage counseling, the first step is to make an appointment. Make sure the professional you choose is certified and specializes in relationship therapy. Many times, couples who have been married for many years begin to feel uncomfortable with each other, and seek help to try to resolve these common issues. The majority of these individuals do NOT wish to end their current relationship, yet they want to make their relationship better. You absolutely cannot use marriage counseling to solve your unresolved conflicts with your spouse. You must work on those problems internally before moving forward.
Even though it may seem pricey, most couples agree that it is far more cost effective to go through with the process than to continue staying married where the relationship is dragging on. Even with a therapist, the majority of couples say that they were able to stay together because they were willing to put in the work to make the sessions work. In many cases, the couple makes their own decision to go through with counseling. However, it is important to remember that even if your spouse is open to the idea, he or she may have objections to the typical session. There is really no way to know this for sure until you sit down and have the conversation.
You also want to remember that while your spouse may be receptive to the idea, you need to be 100% honest with him or her about what is going on. If you simply assume that your spouse is going to be receptive to counseling, you may be very disappointed when that does not happen. In order to get the results you are looking for, it is very important that you sit down with your spouse and have an honest and open discussion about the problems you face in your relationship. Many times, once the problems have been acknowledged, the couple is able to come up with creative solutions on their own, which helps to keep the relationship healthy. If you feel strongly about it, your spouse may even be willing to set up a time for you to sit down with him or her and discuss the issues you face in your relationship, which will save you money in the long run, since you would not have had to schedule many sessions with the counselor.