One of the most difficult things in life is dealing with a marriage counseling after an affair. I am not sure if it is harder or easier, but it can be emotionally draining on the people involved. The first step, and the most important is to admit that there was an affair. It takes a strong person to face this fact, but after that, the road ahead is relatively smooth.
Many couples decide to undergo marriage counseling either immediately after the affair or after a reasonable amount of time has passed. I tend to feel that a longer time period is best because it gives the therapist time to help the couple find healthy ways to move forward. It is very easy for a client to get caught up in the past, but successful therapy always involves looking forward. You wouldn’t take that road if you weren’t sure where you were going.
Many couples choose to go through marriage counseling alone. This is fine if that is your situation, but many couples benefit from a therapist who also understands their needs. For some people, this may mean working with a therapist that has some clinical experience. It would be good to get a few quotations and see what type of packages they offer. Obviously it doesn’t hurt to shop around a bit. In my opinion, the most effective couples therapy will involve some combination of individual and therapist interaction.
If you are considering marriage counseling, you should definitely seek help before you get too deeply involved in a situation that may become harmful to the relationship. Many couples who seek counseling immediately after an affair don’t take the time to evaluate warning signs. They make a big mistake by assuming that everything is fine, or that they know what the problem is. Many people just assume that the warning signs they are experiencing are part of the normal relationship problems. This usually leads to even more problems down the road.
When you meet with your marriage counseling professional, be sure to let him or her know what you hope to learn. If you think there is a chance that further therapy will be helpful, be sure to voice these thoughts. There are some very effective solutions for those struggling to survive infidelity. Don’t assume your relationship has a problem because you have only seen “the odd incident.” Take the time to consider what your issues might be and find effective solutions that work for you.
Marriage counseling after an affair can be a difficult process for both partners. It’s important to remember that marriage counseling is not a one-time event. There are some warning signs that may indicate something may be amiss. Once you have noticed some of them in your relationship, take the time to discuss them with your professional marriage counselor. There are some very effective solutions for those struggling with a problematic marriage.