Marriage counseling doesn’t always work. You might try to figure out your differences with a marriage therapist or you could work them out in the public square in a divorce court. However, it’s usually better to try the second option first. Don’t be afraid of marriage counseling at all. It’s often a very positive experience and it can help get you and your partner back on track again.
There are plenty of reasons why marriage counseling may not have a positive effect on your relationship. If your partner is simply unwilling to try, it may not help. On the other hand, if your counselor is incompetent or abusive, it can do the opposite. Either way, you need to make sure you choose a good marriage counselor and you also need to make sure that your relationship with your spouse is as strong as possible before going in to talk to a professional. If you are having problems now, it may not be a good idea to go ahead with counseling before you have resolved your issues.
One thing you want to be sure of is whether you and your spouse have been communicating about the problems in your marriage. In some cases, when a couple has been married for many years and there are just some difficulties, even if the counselor is experienced and good, your one spouse may feel like he or she is being ignored. In these cases, if you and your partner are not talking, you will be wasting time with the wrong counselor.
Another way in which counseling can actually have a negative effect is when both partners are in full agreement about how the marriage should be resolved. Many couples who start counseling together believe that their problems are so big that they can resolve them by themselves. Unfortunately, this rarely works. One reason why it may not work is because one or both partners does not want to take the steps needed to resolve the conflict and get back together. This is why it is important for the marriage counselor to be an impartial party and tell each spouse what solutions are best for them.
Another major reason why marriage counseling may not work is when both partners are in complete agreement about how to fix issues. However, when one partner feels that the other needs help more than he or she does, then that partner will not listen to the marriage counselor. This will not help at all. The solution to this sort of problem is to find out what the other partner needs so that you can tell him or her that you support his or her wishes. Of course, you must let your partner know that you agree with what he or she is doing and this will help him or her to see that you are interested in helping him or her to fix issues. It will also make your partner feel as though you are supportive, which will lead him or her to be open to the marriage counseling process.
Overall, it can be said that there are many problems that can cause a couple counseling not to work. Yet, if a couple truly wants to fix their relationship problems, then getting back to the basics of communication and getting back to basics of solving conflicts is the best thing to do. Once a couple is able to understand each other’s needs, then they will be able to find the right solutions to their problems.