My Marriage is a powerful novel about the ruins of a marriage written by German writer Jakob Wassermann. It unfolds in shocking detail, creating an unforgettable drama and intensity. The book was translated into English by Michael Hofmann. A good place to begin is by examining your own part in your marriage’s troubles.
Relationships are a vocation to holiness
A vocation to holiness in marriage is the call of a Christian to live a life of love and service. This universal call is expressed in various vocations including marriage, Holy Orders, and consecrated life. Some people live this vocation outside of these recognized states, such as single life, but the call to holiness is the same in all of them.
While a vocation to holiness is a common Christian calling, it is often neglected. We are often preoccupied with earning a living, raising children, and maintaining our homes. Few couples consider their marriage as their primary vocation to holiness. Yet marriage is an essential context for Christian discipleship.
Marriage is a sacred institution, calling both partners to holiness. It requires self-sacrifice from both partners. The Bible presents marriage as a covenant between God and his people. This covenant is a specially firm expression of faithful love.
While a marriage is an imperfect representation of Christ-Church love, it is a vocation to love. The love of husband and wife becomes an image of God’s love. The couple should discern their vocation to marry based on their individual needs, as well as the needs of their partner.
The call to marriage is a real call of God. The Church gives marriages this vocation, and it is their responsibility to nurture it. But marriage is not a comfortable calculation between two people. It is an adventure that requires the fullest commitment of the spouses.
To have a vocation to holiness in a marriage, a couple must believe that God is serious about marriage. In addition to living the sacramental life, a marriage must reflect on the calling of each partner. This includes not only the joys of life with their spouse, but also the challenges of living together. A married couple should also be aware of their wider community.
Conflict is optional in a marriage
Healthy conflict in a marriage can be beneficial. It can help couples communicate their needs and views and to get a better understanding of each other’s point of view. Conflict can also be beneficial if it is handled in a loving manner. Praying for wisdom will help you change the habitual patterns that lead to conflict in a relationship.
Often, conflict occurs because people don’t understand or agree on each other’s values. Rather than trying to change the other person, healthy couples learn to accept each other’s viewpoints and embrace their differences. Managing conflict can also make couples appreciate one another more. Here are some ways to resolve conflict:
First, avoid becoming too emotional. Instead of reacting to your partner’s emotional response, stay calm and engaged in the conversation. You should also pay attention to your body. Take deep breaths when necessary. This helps calm your mind and body. You can also ask your partner for clarification if needed.
Second, avoid overstating your points. Some people tend to blow up their conflicts and place blame on others. Avoid these mistakes and use conflict as an opportunity to assess the situation objectively. Try to find a solution that benefits both of you. It’s better to resolve conflict in a constructive manner than to escalate it into a fight.
In addition, couples who lasted longer in marriages had better conflict management skills. While it’s inevitable to disagree, psychologists advise couples to talk about their differences. However, it’s not a bad thing to be disagreeing if you feel it’s not causing a problem in the relationship.
The ability to regulate your emotions is a powerful skill. The ability to de-escalate conflict is essential for a healthy relationship. With the help of your spouse, you will be able to prevent further problems. By using your skills to think creatively, you can help your spouse find a solution to their issues.
Becoming a better spouse starts with examining your part in your marriage troubles
One of the most crucial first steps to becoming a better spouse is to recognize your part in your marriage’s difficulties. This often begins by examining what you are doing to trigger arguments. If you tend to lash out at your spouse, try to identify your triggers, and apologize for your actions. Then, come up with a plan for how you will react in future situations.