Do you have an old school marriage on the ropes? Do you need help sorting through some of those long standing issues? If so, this is one of the places where you can turn to for advice. I am not going to pretend that every single marriage counselor is going to be able to fix your marriage problems. What I will do is give you some guidelines that you should consider as you seek out marriage counseling. Remember, every marriage situation is different and that means you will want to seek out a counselor who has their solutions for each specific marriage issue.
So what kind of things should you be aware of when looking for an old-school marriage counselor? First of all, be sure you understand that this type of counseling is not about fixing your marriage. Instead, it is to provide an outside view of what is happening so that you can make changes if needed. This is very different than marriage counseling in which the focus is typically on trying to repair the relationship.
So, how can you tell if you are dealing with an old school marriage? First, ask yourself if you and your spouse are open with each other. Is there an honest and open dialogue about anything that might be bothering either of you? If you have been ignoring one another for a while, it could be time to bring that to the surface. Honest communication is crucial when it comes to any marriage problem.
Also, remember that while an old school marriage counselor might not offer solutions for your particular marriage issues, they will still likely have some good suggestions for you to consider. For instance, someone who has worked with the same situation might have some good insights into your own situation. While you might not be ready to consider changing your entire life or putting your children through a lot of stress, you may be able to take some steps to improve your marriage. That is important to remember because old school marriage counselors generally prefer to see marriages stabilize rather than fail.
If you find that you and your partner are not talking much anymore, that can also be a sign of an old school marriage. The reason is that it can be very easy to become defensive about what is happening in your marriage. When communication becomes tense, it can become easy to shut down or even argue about things without really listening to each other’s perspective. An old school marriage counselor will give you the opportunity to communicate more, to hear what each of you are saying and to really listen to what your spouse is saying.
Many times, what you will find is that there are a number of problems with the way that you are communicating in your marriage. You will have a chance to share those problems and work together to find ways to fix them. If you have an issue that is making it difficult for both of you to talk, an old school marriage counselor might be able to provide you with the opportunity to work on it. The counselor will bring you up to speed on some things that may be causing conflict in your marriage. And by fixing the issues, you may be able to move forward in your own marriage much faster.