Will Marriage Counselors Ever Suggest Divorce?
Will marriage counselors ever suggest divorce to couples who are struggling? Many counselors believe that once couples become comfortable with their marriage they will not want to see a marriage counselor. Unfortunately, this belief is flawed. Couples who have an open and honest discussion about the problems in their marriage usually fare much better than those who simply wish they could forget about their problems and go back home. It takes a real commitment on the part of both parties to be able to resolve marital problems. If a marriage is failing, the counselor may suggest divorce as the only option, but the couple should not let this be the basis for how they decide to proceed.
Some counselors will tell couples that divorce is always an option, but only after the counseling has failed. In other cases, the counselor may never suggest divorce until there has been some type of progress. Although the counselor may not always push for it, the counseling will certainly indicate that it is at least worth exploring. If a couple makes a decision to end things rather than wait for the counselor to show them another way, they need to make sure that they are not making a mistake by pushing so hard.
Couples who wonder if they should see a marriage counselor should first take some time to consider whether counseling is really the right route for them. Marriage counselors have been trained to be helpful, but they are not miracle workers. When couples choose counseling, they should also be prepared to do whatever it takes to get the results they desire. While counseling may be useful, couples who are certain that they will not be able to resolve their issues on their own may be better off leaving the process to the professionals. In some cases, couples do not require professional counseling in order to be successful.
For those couples who do require counseling, there are many benefits. The biggest benefit of marriage counseling is that it can help improve the overall relationship between the married couple. This means that when a couple decides to try counseling, they can expect to have an easier time communicating. As communication improves, so does the overall quality of the marriage.
Couples who go into counseling will be provided with resources and information. This will allow them to better understand what their problems are and how to handle them. This information will also help the counselor become more aware of the things that he or she is helping couples to avoid. A counselor’s awareness of what is happening will enable him or her to make suggestions to the couple. These suggestions will be helpful for the marriage. However, the counselor will not force any change upon the couple, nor will he or she tell the couple to go through with the recommendations given.
After a couple has completed the counseling process, the counselor will sit down with each couple and talk about their relationship. The conversation will cover their history together, what the issues are currently causing friction, and what the future holds. At this point, the counselor may suggest some form of therapy either separately or as a couple. In some cases, the counselor may recommend a full range of therapies for the couple to follow. However, after talking with the couple, the counselor may choose which therapy will best benefit them.
It may be difficult for a counselor to make a recommendation to the couple. He or she may have no idea what the problems in the marriage are. However, he or she will know how to best communicate with each couple on the matter before suggesting divorce.
Many marriage counselors will be able to find common ground with all of the couples they work with. If this is the case with your relationship, it is likely that you will find a solution to your problem. If you would like to learn more about finding a good counselor, your local YWCA or Christian community can provide you with information. You can also contact the State Bar Association for names of local marriage counselors. If at any point during the process you feel uncomfortable working with a counselor, you should leave and find another therapist.