If you are looking for marriage advice then you might have come across several articles that offer marriage counseling. Most of these articles are written by marriage counselors and therapists. These experts are supposed to be able to help you save your marriage by offering you their professional opinions. While the majority of these articles are indeed helpful, many of them are merely trying to sell marriage books or contact the divorce lawyers of certain firms who promise a certain thing (usually high settlements) after referring you to their counselors. What you need is a real marriage advice from an objective third party.
Let’s face it. Many of the couples who end up in marriage counseling do not even know what they are doing. Their spouses are telling them that they should go to this certain marriage counselor or this other counselor because that person has a magic wand that will make their relationship permanent. This type of desperate couples will often be told by their friends to find a “happy marriage partner” and to stick with them until they find it.
Unfortunately, most of these marriages end up in divorce court. It doesn’t really matter what the couple’s relationship was like before, or what caused it to fall apart in the first place. When the parties reach the courtroom, their goal is usually to get custody of the children or to force the other spouse to pay spousal support or some other kind of alimony. So what I’m saying is that the people who give them marriage advice are just trying to save their own life and to gain more money in the process.
A much better thing that you can do for yourself, when seeking marriage help, is to follow the teachings of Dr. David Zinn. The best place to find out about Dr. Zinn’s program is to read one of his books or listen to an interview where he is interviewed. What he tells couples who seek his advice is that they should put aside their goals for the relationship and focus on the things that makes them truly happy.
One thing that Zinn teaches couples in his book called” Bringing the House Together,” is that by practicing “self-care,” they will be able to create a marriage that works. In order to have a fulfilling relationship, couples need to have self-care in their lives. By practicing this form of self-care on a daily basis, couples will learn how to deal with their stresses and how to reduce stress in their lives. This is important because studies have shown that people who practice “self-care” are happier than those who don’t. Couples who take the time to care about themselves are less likely to feel depressed or have any other type of mental illness.
Another thing that Dr. David Zinn told us in his book “Bringing the House Together,” is that couples need to communicate regularly. Communication is key to any healthy relationship and when it is missing, so is the marriage. By talking with your partner often, both of you can be aware of any issues in the marriage that are making it difficult to keep it together. By communicating, you are also giving your partner a chance to show their feelings. By hearing what your partner has to say, they are more likely to open up and talk about their concerns in a healthy manner.