When you’re looking for help for saving your marriage from divorce, you will undoubtedly come across countless advice columns, books, and counselors. Many of these are good, but some are filled with half-truths, empty platitudes, advice that only serves to make the problems worse. Fortunately, there is a much better approach.
Dr. David Clarke talks about three kinds of dysfunctional marriages and then shares the key to saving your marriage from divorce by focusing on communication, ownership, and taking responsibility of one’s faults. He says this is based on years of experience working with couples who are in this situation. He says marriage is meant to be a lifelong union of two partners. If that marriage ends and divorces occur, it means that the partners have been missing “the key ingredient” to making their marriage work. This is the concept of marriage counseling that Clarke outlines here.
It isn’t easy saving your marriage from divorce and it certainly isn’t something that you can accomplish overnight. It takes time, patience, understanding, commitment, and loving kindness on both parts to make it last. As with any relationship, if one or the other partner pulls away, it can create a negative imbalance that inevitably leads to further marital problems.
If you have ever seen a movie where an aging couple is trying to get married, then you know that marriage counseling is often at the center. A marriage therapist tries to help the couple rediscover their love and intimacy and also help them overcome some major marital issues. A major part of marriage therapy is communicating. This is what David chats about in his book.
When your partner is coming home late and staying late, he or she is probably having an emotional affair. You may not be able to tell right away, but the problem starts when you notice small signs. Your spouse may come home late every day and stay up way past bedtime. They may talk to people on the phone and sometimes they will completely lie. These are all signs that your partner is cheating and that you need to catch it before it gets too out of hand.
When you are trying to save your marriage from divorce, you should never accuse, criticize, or punish your spouse in anyway. Your goal in marriage counseling is to make your partner see that you are important and that they are not enough for you. You want to communicate and build a deep connection with your spouse. The marriage counselor may suggest many things to help get your marriage back on track. However, it is up to you to listen carefully and find the answers that are right for you. By doing this, you will be saving your marriage from divorce and you will have a stronger, longer lasting relationship.