My name is Agape Marriage Counselor and I help my clients go through a long distance relationship, whether it be online or off. Some of my clients come to me because they know that they have a problem and they need help getting over it. Others come for a more simple reason and that is they just don’t know any other place to go. When this happens, pre-marital counseling is sometimes necessary.
When I work with couples who are in long-distance relationships, I really like to utilize the “pre-marital counseling” model. For example, if the man is coming to me because he’s concerned that his wife might be cheating on him, then I will ask him some questions to see how long he’s been seeing her. We’ll use this pre-marital counseling as a way to determine if a pre-marital counseling session would be beneficial. If he doesn’t answer my questions accurately, I can’t do anything about it. However, if he does answer truthfully, we can both get some valuable information from this session.
For example, one of my clients asked me, “Can a Christian couple who is in long-distance get married while attending the same church and at the same time doing pre-marital counseling?” The short answer is yes, you can. Churches are a great place to make time together. A pre-marriage counseling setting can also be a good opportunity for the Christian couple to learn more about each other, to get to know one another better, and to become closer.
As a therapist who specializes in marriage problems, I really like to see people who are close to have successful marriages. I really like to see the marriage succeed because this helps me as well. When you see two people who have deep spiritual beliefs working successfully together in a marriage situation, it makes me feel like I’m helping them grow closer. It’s amazing how much happiness can come from having someone you love so close that you can see them every single day. In a sense, long distance relationships are not so different than a traditional relationship.
For many years, we served the residents of an area ministry in our town. A couple who were very close became expecting a baby when they decided to get married and went long distance to have this happen. What a great help our agape marriage counseling sessions have been in helping them overcome the challenges they have faced.
This Christian couple had both gotten through their struggles in dealing with their relationship, however, they still felt a void where they had not been able to share the joy they once shared. They felt as though no-one understood them and they wanted to be heard. That’s why it is so helpful to have agape pre-marital counseling both when planning your wedding and when you finally come to make that all important commitment to each other.