When my marriage was falling apart, I didn’t know what to do. I certainly didn’t want to do anything to further damage our marriage. My husband and I had been married for fifteen years by this point and it seemed that nothing was going right. My husband’s lack of intimacy with me was maddening and I wanted there to be something I could do to save our marriage. I just wanted my marriage to be normal again.
It seems that many couples go through the same thing-so much pain and suffering that they turn to marriage counselors. This is a good thing because it keeps the married couple together. Unfortunately, many couples end up breaking up because they don’t really see a need to change. The biggest obstacle for most couples breaking up is the fact that one or both spouses don’t feel like they have a connection with the other person. They are so accustomed to their difficulties and lack of intimacy that they don’t recognize that their connection might be missing something.
In order to help you discover whether or not you and your spouse are in a healthy marriage, you will probably be required to take a number of blood tests. In my experience, blood tests can often show you whether or not a particular issue is at work within your marriage. If the blood tests show some sort of abnormality, the psychologist may recommend a visit to a marriage counselor. However, the psychologist may also have other suggestions for you to consider as well, including marriage requirements, which can be different from state to state.
As a matter of fact, some states require couples to take a series of blood tests before they can get married. Some of these states require couples to obtain a marriage license. I find this to be a very interesting topic. On one hand, it seems that something as simple as blood tests can tell you whether or not you are capable of sticking together for the long term. However, I also believe that marriage requirements are rarely designed to test whether or not someone is capable of sticking together for the long term. More often than not, these requirements are designed to protect the interests of the state when someone is unable to stick with the marriage for the long run.
Regardless of whether or not you are required by a state to take a series of tests before you can get married, many couples do choose to do so. Most of the couples I work with do choose to do so because they believe it is better to spend time together rather than spending time trying to prove a point to one another. However, this does beg the question; why is this? Why are some couples allowed to spend time together without needing to take marriage tests?
The reason why some couples are able to remain together is because they believe that they have created an intimacy that cannot be broken. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. For example, if one partner leaves the relationship, then that person will need to rebuild the intimacy that they had before the relationship ended. Therefore, the best advice one can give another is to re-evaluate their relationship and to spend time together as much as possible.