Why Should You Consider Counseling After Marriage?
If you are seeking marriage counseling in the first five years of your marriage, you may want to ask yourself, “Why is marriage counseling so important?” The fact is, marriage counseling can and does make a difference. Unfortunately, many marriages end up in divorce after five years. Is it because the marriage was never truly meant to be? Or perhaps it was and your partner just never noticed what the big picture looked like.
There are some obvious reasons for marriage counseling in the first five years that are not negotiable. First, you have to deal with your personal feelings about each other. You may be completely oblivious to your spouse’s wants and needs. Even if you feel that you know where you stand, this does not mean that your partner agrees with you.
Secondly, it takes two to tango. Even if you both believe that you are on the same page, often times your spouse will put their own interests first. In order to resolve these issues, marriage counseling can and usually is a necessary step. It helps both partners to understand each other’s viewpoint and to find common ground.
Thirdly, there is often resentment involved when two people who are in a relationship disagree on an issue. Resentment can lead to the breakdown of the marriage, and sometimes to divorce. A marriage counselor can help you eliminate this negative energy before it develops into anything more serious. You and your spouse should be open with each other about any concerns or issues that you feel could lead to a marriage breakup.
Fourthly, you and your spouse may have already grown apart to the point that marriage counseling is necessary. Sometimes, the problems are so ingrained in your marriage that only professional advice can heal them. If this is the case, then your marriage counselor can play an integral role by assisting you and your spouse to begin to rebuild the bond between each other.
Fifthly, you may have already attempted marriage counseling and have not gotten the desired results. Perhaps your sessions did not go as far as you hoped. This does not mean that counseling is not for you. It just means that you need to look for different options. There are many different types of marriage counseling. You and your partner should be comfortable with the one that best suits your needs.
Sixthly, you may not want to attend counseling at all. This should not prevent you from trying to save your marriage. There are many options available to you today that can help you work through your problems without outside intervention. However, if you are truly serious about saving your marriage, you should at least consult with a marriage counselor.
Many people believe that marriage counseling should be used only when things are getting bad. That is a mistake. Marriage counseling should be used to prevent problems before they occur. If you and your spouse work through your problems together, you will both have a greater chance of success. When you both know that a marriage counselor is there to help you, your marriage will take a much better route to a fulfilling future.
Another reason you should consider the use of marriage counseling after the marriage has failed is that you may find that your partner is willing to go this route. It is true that your instincts will tell you to try and save your marriage. However, your partner may want to use the marriage counseling session as an opportunity to work on their own problems.
A third reason to consider consulting with a marriage counselor should be because you are afraid of the process. You are afraid that it will be unpleasant or complicated. Fortunately, the process is quite simple and inexpensive. Many marriage counselors are willing to work with you even if you do not wish to initiate a program yourself.
Although it is understandable that you are worried that marriage counseling will not be effective, it is important to remember that this type of counseling will be beneficial. You will find that it can strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Additionally, you will be able to gain a better understanding of why you need to change in order to save your marriage.